myemanna.org

Hot Cross Buns
Hot Cross Buns
One a penny
Two a penny
Hot Cross Buns
If you have no daughters
Give them to your sons
One a penny
Two a penny
Hot Cross Buns 

I am walking with Jesus down a cobblestone walkway.  The shops and houses we pass seem to be from the 1700’s.  We stop at a large, sturdy wooden building.  There is nothing lovely about it, but you knew it had weathered many storms.  It is early morning, and the sky is just beginning to lighten the horizon.  We enter, and inside the building is a solitary man.  There is only one large room, with simple wooden desks in perfectly neat rows.  The man is kneeling at the front, praying and worshiping the King of Heaven.  It occurs to me that we are standing in an old schoolhouse, and the man we’re observing in prayer is the teacher.  As he is praying he becomes aware of small demons on his left against the wall.  He takes decisive action against them, using his gun to blow them to pieces.  They seem almost in a drunken stupor because of his prayers - they were easy targets for him.

Outside the schoolhouse a baker is selling his freshly baked bread.  I can hear his cart rattling along the cobblestone street.  He’s singing out, “Hot cross buns - hot cross buns!  One-a-Penny, Two-a-Penny, hot cross buns!”  The teacher must have purchased some from him, because each of the desks in the room now had a bun on top.  The teacher took his sword and began slicing through each bun.  Some were full of worms.  They looked perfect on the outside, but inside they were full of defiling things.  His discernment brought about the revelation that things were not as they appeared.  He discarded those that were not fit for consumption.  The ones that were good he pinched small pieces off, and placed them on the now empty desks.  Instantly they became whole buns - fit for eating.  He then took what looked to be an ink well out of his pocket - filled with oil instead of ink.  With a paintbrush he “painted” each bun with oil - following the marks of the cross indented in the bread.  Satisfied that his room was now ready for the day ahead, he returned to his desk and waited for his students to arrive.

Moments later the boys burst though the door.  What was once peace and quiet turned into reckless pandemonium.  Boys covered in dirt, in unkempt clothing, hair sticking up in all directions - they were a motley crew of energy and boarish masculinity. 

And then at the back of the classroom the door opened again.

In walked Lydia, the teacher’s daughter.  Perfectly polished she stood in sharp contrast to the rowdy boys who had entered before her.  Her features were most delicate - but not frail.  Carefully she made her way to her father at the front of the class.  She held one smooth, red apple in her hand.  As she reached his desk, her father pulled her onto his lap in an unashamed embrace.  How proud he was of this precious one who held his rapt attention!  The whole room was quiet as they watched the interaction between the father and his daughter.  He whispered things to her that only she could hear.  Their great love was on display for the whole class to see.  The only response the boys could give was awed silence.

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Emanna, the teacher made preparations for his students - he loved each one well, and made sure that what he provided for them was wholesome and beneficial.  But did you see them eat?  They did not see the loaves carefully set before them.  They could not see how filthy and unkempt they were, nor how noisy they were being.  Their friends were all the same - they were no different.  It was only in the presence of purity that they finally fell silent.  It was only in the intimate presence of the love the father and daughter had for one another that a holy hush fell upon them.  Only then were their hearts ready to receive what their teacher had prepared for them that day.  Each boy craved the attention and affection of the teacher.  But they were just students - she was his daughter.  In order to enjoy the intimacy and love of relationship on display they would each have to be adopted as sons. 

This is what the bread on each desk represented.  Each loaf represented My sacrifice, My body - given on their behalf.  The oil on each loaf is the presence of My Holy Spirit.  It was painted onto the indentations of the cross because My Spirit was poured out for you as a result of My crucifixion.  The daughter came to her father with a simple gift in hand - a red apple.  It is a gift of love to her father.

“Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.”  Song of Songs 2:5

Daughter, she presents to her father the fruit of intimacy.  She gives back to him the love he has poured into her life.

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.  I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.  He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.”  Song of Songs 2:3-4

When you come to Me with a heart ready for intimacy, will I not reward you?  My desire is to walk with you each day and partake of the fruits of intimacy.  As you walk with Me and seek Me beyond all others, I will take you personally to the banquet table of My Father.  On His table is the richest of fares, and more besides.  His food is not of this world Beloved, but is given for your edification and spiritual strength.  Revelation is there, as well as wisdom and understanding.  Greater levels of intimacy are prepared and await you.  Authority is there, but you must allow Me to serve this dish to you.  Drink deeply from the cup of My favor.  Savor the fruit of My Spirit.  Partake of the delicacies of promises fulfilled.  These will delight your soul.  It is your Father’s good pleasure to share this meal with you.

“Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me.”  Revelation 3:20

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  No one comes to the Father except through Me. 

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I knew very little about hot cross buns until I had this vision.  Check out the cool info I found about them here.  How appropriate that He would show this to me before Easter!

As I was doing a name search on “Lydia” I found that it is a Greek name which means “from Lydia”, or “beauty”.  For some interesting information about the Lydia of the Bible go here.

After writing this post, I am aware that I have not fully explained each element in the vision.  I expect that I’ll have more revelation concerning each aspect in the days ahead, but I give it to you as it was given to me. I’d love to hear your thoughts if the Lord gives you further understanding concerning the above story.

Blessings,

Emanna

“Look at me,” she thought to herself.  “I’m clothed in dirty rags, my face is covered in mud, and my whole body is dusty and dry and caked with dirt.”  With a sigh, and a terrible longing in the pit of her stomach, she looked toward the house - His house.  Feeling worthless and ashamed at her condition, all she could do is stand in the dark alleyway and look through the window at the display of love and comraderie found within.

Suddenly, the door swings open!  There stands the most gregarious man, filling the entire doorway with His massive frame and infectious presence.  He wipes His hands on His apron and looks at the young woman standing in the alley - tattered and torn.  With a delightful twinkle in His eyes He asks, “Daughter, why are you in the street?”  He beckons her to come in.  As she crosses the threshold He sweeps her off her feet in a huge bear hug.  He has her sit down in front of a basin of water, where he begins to wash the dirt away.  He plays “piggies” with her toes as He washes the grime from her feet, laughing as she tries to pull away.  His laugh is so hearty, so contagious, so joyful and rich - so larger than life itself.  He beckons His new-found daughter to join the others at the table - her brothers and sisters seated at a table prepared just for them.  They too look grimey, but their hands and feet have been washed as hers had just moments before.  Bowls of delicious steaming soup sit before each child.  With joy in His eyes, the Father hands her a bowl as well.

As she is eating, she notices that there’s a warm, inviting fire in the hearth where the soup is cooking in a large black cauldron.  He could feed the whole world from that one pot!  Light from the fire dances across the walls of the room.  It was not a fancy home, but it was full of love, full of life - full of the Father’s presence.  Great peace was in this home as well as freedom.  Freedom from every fear, freedom from rejection, freedom from sorrow or pain.  In this house those things fell away as each child entered the joy of the Father.  All needs were met - cleanliness, food, protection, love, and so much more. 

Some of the children would eat their fill and then leave once more.  If they stayed away too long, they often forgot their Father and forgot whose child they were.  But something invariably would draw them back to the simple home on the crowded street where they would glance longingly through the window at the joy inside.  The Father always invited them back home once more, and would remind them of His great love.  Others would stay way past dinner, sit at His feet, and wait for the stories to begin.  Adventures, heartache, victory, and a host of other dramatic elements peppered His unending stories.  He knew all the stories since the beginning of time when the first breath from the first man was ever released, and all the stories that came before.  Heaven itself could not contain the stories found in the Father’s heart!  There was not a tear that was wasted, not a song unnoticed, not a cry unaddressed in the stories He told.

Full of His stories, the children would leave the Father’s side and venture out into the surrounding neighborhoods, bringing more children to the Father’s door.  Some willingly received His embrace, while others would venture in but hide from the Father’s gaze - afraid of who-knows-what, wrapped in fear and doubt and unbelief.  But as they saw the Father’s lavish love toward His children, they too crept closer, hungry for just one glance, one beaming smile from the heart of Love Himself. 

And then there were the others.  They never left their Father’s house.  They ate at His table and were as fat as they could be.  Even in the presence of such great love, they chose to hoard what the Father gave them, they vied for the best positions at the table, and bickered amongst themselves.  The Father encouraged them to go and bring others to His house, and to His table, but they refused to go.  They didn’t want to share His goodness and love with others, but wanted it all for themselves.  Their greed corrupted their hearts.  And yet they remained in the Father’s house because of His great love, never realizing they were in danger of losing their reward.  He’s so patient with them, not wanting any of them to perish.

Sometimes a spirit of repentance would fall upon one of them, and that beloved child would throw himself in a heap at the Father’s feet.  This would greatly anger the others and pour conviction into their hearts.  In their anger and frustration they would begin kicking at the one at the Father’s feet until he was bruised and bleeding.  The Father would hold them back with one arm, while gently picking up and holding His precious child with his other arm - rejoicing over the salvation of His sorrowful child.  He tenderly knit this precious one to His side so health and healing, love, joy, and peace would flow freely into the one so bruised and broken. 

Of course the child could remove himself at any time.  But if he allowed the Father to remove him at the proper time, then he would be strong enough to join the Father in His work, and go out and bring others to the Father’s house.  He would completely identify with the Father and not forget the love poured out for him.  If he remained long enough, his heart would begin to beat in perfect time and rhythm with the Father’s, and his veins flow with the same compassion that flows through His.  And peace, and truth and love will cover his footsteps.

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One morning when I was sitting before the Lord He began to unfold this story in my heart.  I was a teen once more, peering through the window of my Father’s home at the joy on display.  I was the one in the alley wanting more, but feeling unworthy to partake.  We’ve all had those times in our lives when our failures hang over our heads like the Acme weight perpetually found in the Roadrunner cartoons.  Discouraged and beaten we somehow make it to the door, but are afraid to go in.  “Will He condemn me too?”  “Will He heap more condemnation onto my battered soul?”  Oh Beloved, that is the biggest lie the enemy feeds us, because he knows if we walk through the door of the Father’s house there is abundant provision for every need.  He receives all who come.  Not a one is turned away who humbly comes into His presence. 

The most surprising thing I found about this story was that the Father is so playful!  He was so fun to be around - so joyful and full of life.  He was warm and inviting.  I think we carry this picture of God in our hearts that is unapproachable.  It is an untrue picture.  If you have one of those tucked inside your heart destroy it quickly.  Draw a new picture.  Please believe me when I tell you that He is utterly approachable.  He’s in a good mood, and He loves you!  Heaven could not contain the love He has for you.  Not only is He in a good mood, He also prefers your company.  He lives to provide for His children.  But those who decided to stay even after receiving their needs met received the greatest blessings.  Then they in turn blessed others, and led them back to the Father.  Freely they received His love, and freely they gave it away.

This time I was the girl in the alley desperately wanting more, but at other times I’m the one cowering in the corner, or sitting at His feet, and yes, I’ve even been the one fat and contented but lacking in love and compassion.  So where are you in the story?  Does you heart long to go deeper?  Are you hiding fearfully in the corner of the room?  Are you hungry?  Are you desperate for time at His feet?  Are you busy bringing others to the Father?  Are you struggling with self-righteousness?  He’s aware of it all.  And whatever state we find ourselves in, He is faithful.  And He knows what it will take to get you from the alley to the table where He wishes for you to be.  Oh Beloved, seek His face.  Truly those who seek Him find Him, and often what He reveals turns our world upside-down and challenges every notion we’ve ever had of who He really is.  I want to know Him as I am known.  He is utterly amazing, endearing and delightful!

Sounds like dinner is ready and the stories are about to start…wanna come?!

It is My supply.  Just as a baby receives sustenance in the mother’s womb through the umbilical cord, I also bring forth my grace - my supply - to My children.  The baby in the womb does not have to beg for it, nor does it even think about the supply being given.  For the time the babe is in the womb it is automatic and free-flowing to sustain the life of the growing child.  Her blood mixes with the baby inside and the two are one for the time of gestation.  In the natural the cord can become knotted and the flow of life interrupted.  This can cause death if the issue is not corrected.  It is the baby’s umbilical cord.  In the spiritual there are also times when My grace is hindered from coming to you because of “knots” in your spiritual cord - your vital link to life in Me.  Fear, doubt, unbelief, and a host of other things serve to stop the flow of life coming to you.  I have come to give you LIFE - and life abundant.  I desire for an unhindered flow of life flowing to you, an unbroken fellowship - ongoing, strong and sustaining.  As you cast off those things that would hinder the flow between us you will grow strong in mind, body, and spirit.  And yet, there are some knots that only I can untangle in your life.  You are learning this lesson well, and are learning to trust Me in those things you could not possibly understand except through My beloved Holy Spirit.  He is the Oil that makes the knots easier to unravel.  Yes beloved, My grace is sufficient for you.  My heart is yours, and I will never leave you or forsake you.  I AM loves you Emanna.  I have set My grace upon you beloved Daughter of the King. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

“But he said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.  Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”  2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP

I’m approaching this year with so many unanswered questions.  Of course, no one really knows what this year is going to bring.  We can pretty much guarantee it will have its fair share of ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments.  I feel as if someone has dropped me in a gray zone.  I’ve tried to wrap my hands around the excitement that a new year brings, and all I seem to come up with is a handful of dreams, hopes, and a few tremulous fears.  But my soul has learned a few things from the past year, and above all the voices that would run through my mind, one voice rings out loud and clear over them all:

MY GOD IS FAITHFUL!

So, even though I don’t know what this year will bring, I know the God Who does, and my future is in His capable hands.  Hallelujah!

God has given me another vision.  And like most of the others the meaning of this vision is not entirely clear, but what He has revealed to me so far brings me hope.  I hope it encourages you as well. 

In this particular vision I see a beautiful field that is ready to plant.  There are neat rows of soil as far as the eye can see.  As I am watching there is an acceleration that is happening…full stalks of corn are popping out of the ground as quickly as the seed is sown.  Just as quickly I can see the harvesting machine harvesting the corn.  Sowing was quickly followed by harvesting.  That was the end of the vision.

A scripture immediately came to my mind from Amos 9:13:

“The days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when the reaper will be overtaken by the plowman and the planter by the one treading grapes.  New wine will drip from the mountains and flow from all the hills.”

What a beautiful promise given for the restoration of God’s special people!  Check out the two verses that come before verse 13 (Amos 9:11-12):

“In that day I will restore David’s fallen tent.  I will repair its broken places, restore its ruins, and build it as it used to be, so that they may possess the remnant of Edom and all the nations that bear my name,” declares the LORD, who will do these things.”

Repair…restore…build.  Before God promises that the reaper would be overtaken by the plowman He indicates that HE will restore David’s fallen tent - a symbol of Davidic worship.  To enter into the fullness of all God has for us in 2008, worship has to be the biggest part of our lives.  It is a call to consecration, a call to lay aside all that would hold us down from seeking His face.  A call to accept God’s plan and not necessarily our own.  A call to learn the fear of the Lord - being afraid of walking in disobedience to His loving instruction in any area of our lives.

I don’t know about you, but I have a few things in my life that desperately need God’s touch to repair, restore, and build.  And as we continue to commit ourselves to Him in this New Year He will be faithful to do it.  Let’s not miss out on this amazing season God has planned for His beloved children!

Oh, and Happy New Year!

I am the unfortunate owner of two houses.  One is called “Flesh”, and the other is called “Spirit”.  And I get to choose daily where I’ll lay my head.

The Lord gave me a vision of the first house months ago.  It was a one room home, full of light from an open window, full of peace, goodness and life.  Full of all the things that would help me to be the person God created me to be.  It’s construction reminded me of a Jewish home with plastered walls, neatly kept and simple.  There was a jar there He told me was full of “joy and gladness”.  There were other items as well, each significant in their own way, and vital to my growth in Him.  But as beautiful and joyful as this home is, it is still strangely unfamiliar to me in many ways.  I have visited many times, but don’t consider myself to have taken up permanent residence there. 

The second house was revealed to me in a dream.  It was a house I was well-familiar with, old, established, in terrible disrepair, full of darkness, brokenness, shattered dreams.  I had the desire to repair it to it’s former glory, but as I wandered from room to room to assess each area I realized that it was a task I could not undertake alone.  It was not a task anyone would want to take on.  There were piles of junk everywhere you looked.  Even the side porch had old appliances and junk just lying around from years of accumulation and neglect.  The flower beds were overgrown and full of weeds.  It was beyond depressing, but strongly familiar.  I had the desire to clean it up and fix everything, but knew it was beyond me to do so.  And it is.

Up until the past couple of days I never understood the connection between these two “houses”.  But Jesus in His infinite mercy has finally put the puzzle pieces in place for me.  I must admit, this is a hard lesson to learn.  I stand on the sidewalk outside these two homes, and I have to make a choice.  Do I run to the familiar yet dark house, or the unfamiliar yet full-of-life house?  You would think this decision would be a no-brainer, but how many times during the course of a day do we choose that which we are most familiar with?  It’s almost as if we have a default setting we fall back on during times of quick decisions or pressure.  The key in our hand fits easily into the first door because it’s been used so much.  The key to the new door needs to be accessed from my knees, and doesn’t come open as easily.  Pride opens the first door, humility opens the other.

There are trees in front of each home.  In the first yard is a magnificent tree.  It’s called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  The second home has a tree also, though it doesn’t look much like a tree anymore.  It’s shaped like a cross - the Tree of Life.  In order to get in to the Home of the Spirit I have to stop at this tree first, for the key to the door hangs on it’s humble branches. 

Each home has very distinctive characteristics.  Some you will find uncomfortably familiar.  I’ll start with the House of Flesh.  In this home you’ll find a variety of unpleasant furnishings including:

immorality, impurity, indecency, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, ill-temper, selfishness, divisions, factions, envy, drunkeness, carousing, conceit, provocation, stealing, greed, slander, adultery, obscenity, foolish talk, course joking, murder, falsehood, rage, and more (Gal. 5:16-26, 1 Cor. 6:9-10, Eph. 5:3-7, Col. 3:5-11, Rev. 22:15). 

Though familiar, if I choose to dwell in the House of Flesh I open myself to deception, bondange, and eventually death.  Even visiting on occasion results in damage to relationships, and my heart can begin to harden to the things of God.  The stench of this home clings to me even after I’ve chosen to walk out the door.

Then there is the House of the Spirit.  The pathways surrounding this home all lead to peace.  Inside this home are furnishings and fixtures that will stand the test of time, and gain the approval of eternity.  You’ll find love here.  You’ll also find:

joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, gentleness, meekness, humility, purity, understanding, truthfulness, thanksgiving, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, righteousness and light (Gal. 5:16-26, 2 Cor. 6:6-7, Eph. 4:3, 5:4, Col. 3:12-17).

It is a home full of abundant life!  There are no shadows or darkness there.

Each day is full of crucial choices.  We often blow it and end up at the wrong address.  But Christ in His faithfulness sent us the Holy Spirit to lead us and guide us and get us back on the right path.  This is truly living in the Spirit - walking side-by-side and step-by-step in the right direction.  It is a process, and we will never suddenly arrive at our final destination on this side of Heaven.  But we don’t need to despair.  If we allow the Spirit to lead us back to the cross once more we’ll receive the grace and forgiveness (and the key!) we need to rest our heads in the right home.  And as we do this as a matter of habit, I believe we’ll find our hearts naturally turning down the path of peace to the House of the Spirit.  When faced with difficult situations and unbearable pressure we’ll have learned to cling to the Tree of Life.  We’ll have sat at the table prepared for us in the presence of our enemies, and our cups will overflow with joy (Psalm 23).  But most importantly, we will have learned how to listen for the voice of our Savior, seen for ourselves the look of love in His eyes, and gaze upon the magnificence of His Person.

You see, He’s the Bridegroom.  He’s prepared a place for us - this very House of the Spirit, and He’s waiting for us to make His House our “home”.  He doesn’t want a visitor - He wants a Bride!  This is the mission the Holy Spirit has been entrusted with - to bring us to that end.  Bride, it’s time to come out of everything familiar!  It’s time to board up the other house and declare it “CONDEMNED”.  We are seated with Christ in heavenly places, and it’s time we became familiar with His ways, and set our hearts on the things above (Eph. 2:6, Col. 3:1). 

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of Life set me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2

I had the most amazing dream the other night.  You know the kind…full technicolor with vivid emotion attached.  The kind that follow you around for days, digging into the recesses of your heart like barbs.  Occassionally God will speak to us through our dreams, if we’re open to receive them.  That night I received three.

I’m just going to tell you about one however, as the other two dealt specifically with some personal issues I’m currently dealing with.  This is not the first time I’ve had this experience.  Sometimes I think God uses dreams when He’s having trouble getting through to us by other means.  Daniel had dreams in the night, as other men and women in the Bible did as well.  Even though our bodies rest, our spirits are open to His gentle (and not so gentle) ministrations.

I was walking up a hill to what looked to be a large two-story house that had been turned into some quaint shops inside.  As I approached the house, I had to stop walking to stoop down and tie my shoe.  While I was in this position, I saw a dark man out of the corner of my eye.  He was looking at the purse I had slung on my right shoulder, and I new he had every intention of stealing it from me.  He lunged for me, and I successfully kept him from taking my purse.  He walked away from me a bit, and began to ask me for my purse.  It seemed like he was trying to determine if he could take me again.  I fumbled with my purse as I continued to walk up the hill toward the house with the shops.  In my mind I said, “If I can get inside the building someone will see this creep trying to attack me and stop him.”  I finally did get inside, and hid in a side closet of one of the inner shops.  There were actually slats in the wall, and I could see my pursuer on the other side of the wall, fumbling with something (I couldn’t see what at that time), and visibly struggling with whether he should pursue me inside.  But instead of a dark man I was looking at this pimply faced young teenager.  He eventually gathered his courage and came into the house.  He had an old gun in his hand, and was waving it around at everyone, and stealing everything he could get his hands on.  He herded us all outside to the front of the building.  At this point I became very indignant.  I was sick of his torment.  He’d stolen everything he could, and now he’s trying to torment us further.  In a split second I lunge for the gun and grabbed it by the barrel.  He’s so surprised I was easily able to take it out of his hands.  I began to shoot the gun into the ground.  To everyone’s surprise the gun is completely empty of bullets.  All you could hear was “click-click-click” as the chambers of the gun rotated.

About the time I discovered the gun was empty, an older gentelman came walking down the hill.  He was wearing an old leather hat, and had an old leather bomb jacket on with blue jeans.  He told us that the punk kid was his, and he began to tell me that his son started tormenting people when he was younger with “This.”  Then he pulled a banana out of his inside coat pocket.  He said that was how he began, and to please have mercy on his son.  This infuriated us, and everyone began to tell him how he stole everything from us.  Then the dream ended.

Now hang with me, as this is going to make a lot more sense.

The punk kid was a picture of Satan.  He comes to torment, to “kill, steal, and destroy” (John 10:10).  He’s looking for those “he can devour” (1 Peter 5:8).  He waits for an “opportune moment” (Luke 4:13) if we successfully fight him off the first time to return to see if our defenses are still up against him.  Sometimes we’ll perceive that the attack is stronger than the time before (in my dream the kid came after me a second time with a gun - and that time he wasn’t just after me, but everyone in the building), and often he’ll begin to attack those closest to us.  As we spend time in our prayer closet (the closet I hid in once I reached the building), God will often reveal our enemy for who he truly is, and reveal his strategy.  Our enemy may steal from us, and he may wave a gun in our face, but the gun has “blanks” because Jesus already took away his ammunition!  We have every right to boldly confront him, and call him down when he torments us.  Hallelujah!

I guess you’re wondering about the banana.  I believe the banana is symbolic of those little things the enemy begins to feed us - the seemingly harmless lies he gives us that act like barbs to lead us into greater deception.  The lie may be sweet, look completely harmless, and easy to digest, but it is deadly nonetheless.  If he can convince you to take and eat the “fruit”, what else can he convince you of?  These lies can come in many forms.  Our enemy is intimately acquainted with all our weaknesses.  But fortunately for us, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).  We can walk in His boldness, and His sufficiency.  He gives us exactly what we need for each situation that arises, and He trains our hands for war (Psalm 144:1).  Truly He is an awesome Father…

So, the next time the enemy of your soul comes to torment you, remember he is nothing but a pimply-faced punk kid.  He carries a gun with blanks.  Believe your Father.  Believe His Word and act on His promises.  He is mighty to save us!  Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has already won the battle for us, and we are more than conquerors through Him Who loves us!  (Romans 8:37)

Hallelujah!

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.”  Luke 9:23-27

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I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately.  Not in the morbid sense of the word - well, maybe I have. 

I’ve walked in places this year I never thought I’d walk.  I’ve heard things I never imagined I’d ever hear.  I have been filled with His love until I thought my heart would explode, and I’ve had my heart torn in two because I longed for even more.  It has been a divine and painful rapture of my soul all at once.  How could we possibly contain the glory of God in these mere vessels?  It is too large for my human comprehension.  Then He takes it up a notch.

The other day I heard these words: “Dead men do not fear.” Anyone who has been to a funeral or watched a loved one die can agree with that statement.  But on the inside I knew the Lord wanted me to have a deeper understanding of this truth.  1 John 4:18 began to play in my mind, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  So, if dead men do not fear, then perhaps perfect love -His love- comes to us as dead men.  Or perhaps God’s perfect love brings death with it.  Either way, there’s death involved somehow.

The word translated “love” in the above scripture is the Greek word “agapé”.  It describes God’s benevolent love - the love that seeks the greater good of another.  It’s benevolence is not shown by doing what the person loved desires, but what the one who loves (God) deems as needed by the one loved (us).

Which brings me to the opening scripture.  Jesus Himself told us to take up our cross daily and follow Him.  I’ve pondered this commandment for years, not fully grasping what He meant by this.  What does that look like?  I was questioning the Lord about this the other day when the question came to me, “What was placed on the cross specifically?”  “Your flesh!” I replied.  Then my mind exploded with understanding.  He’s asking us to lay down our fleshly desires - anything that is not born of the Spirit of Truth.  As my mind wrapped fully around this revelation, I began to take this idea of death, and dying to self very seriously.  These are the thoughts that entered my mind:

          “Dead men don’t dream dreams.”

          “Dead men don’t get offended.”

          “Dead men are not prideful.”

          “Dead men don’t put themselves above others.”

          “Dead men don’t worry about the future.”

You could go on and on.  About the same time I heard “Dead men do not fear” the Lord also said this to me, “MY best for your best.”  Then He began to explain to me that when I lay everything at His feet - all that I am, all my love, skills, abilities, my talents, my home, family, friends, relationships, dreams, church - EVERYTHING, then He replaces it with HIS love, HIS skills, HIS abilities, HIS talents, HIS home, HIS family, HIS friends, HIS relationships, HIS dreams, HIS church, PLUS HIS glory, HIS honor, HIS grace…and so much more.  It is an entirely unfair trade, but one that gives Him great delight.  Through our “death” He gives us His “LIFE”.

Have you ever wondered why so many people are afraid of dying?  I have.  There was even a period of time when I was very afraid of dying.  It had even become a stronghold in my life.  The fear of death immobilizes you, and makes you hang on to everyone and everything around you extremely tight.  Our adversary is very crafty, and always mixes a bit of the truth in with the lie he carefully feeds you, so that it is more palatable.  If Satan came to you one day and just said, “I want to kill you” then you’d recognize him for what he really is - a murderer.  So what is the smidge of truth here?  Our Lord has called us to die daily.  Not a physical death like Satan would have us believe, but a death of the flesh.  And our enemy knows all too well that those who die in the flesh can resurrect with great power!  He learned his lesson well at Calvary.  And so he entices us with all the fleshly desires he can throw at us (“the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” - 1 John 2:16), because he knows that if we discover the secret of death, then we can walk in the power of Christ’s resurrection.  We’ve traded our best for Christ’s best, and the gates of Hell tremble with unbridled fear at the approach of a Christian walking in His ressurection power.

Let’s shake the gates of Hell, shall we?

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” Jeremiah 17:9-10

Great sorrow fills my heart tonight.  It has been a day like no other - God has shown me the deceitfulness of my heart.

Recently I’ve been crying out to have a greater capacity to receive more of Him.  I’ve asked the Father to enlarge my heart so I can love His Son even more, never understanding that there was major “housecleaning” to be done.  The Father was pleased with my request.  Little did I know that the spirit of pride had again taken up residence, and had to be removed to make room for the King.  To the very pit of my soul I’ve been crushed beyond belief today, but through it all His grace and mercy have saved me. 

In my heart I’ve asked for His truth to invade my life.  Funny how it’s never packaged like you expect it to be.  Truth - God’s truth - is terrifying in the most inconceivable way.  He knows me.  There is no thought, no imagination, no intention that is not completely laid bare before His throne.  He alone is the righteous Judge.  He alone can weigh the hearts of men.  He weighed mine today and found it wanting. 

When Saul was on the road to Damascus, knocked down in the middle of the road, and rebuked for persecuting the Lord and His Church - Jesus in His great mercy brought blindness to his eyes.  It was an outward manifestation of his heart’s spiritual condition.  Only in his blindness did Saul become Paul.  The Lord had to blind his physical eyes for a time so he could begin to see things His way.  May we all become “blind” to the ways of the flesh, so we can truly see with the eyes of the Spirit!

This is the path of humility. “He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)  The light of His truth shining into our hearts brings revelation and repentance.  The Father is looking for worshipers “who will worship Him in spirit and in truth”. (John 4:23)  The revelation of our heart’s true condition brings humility.  Humility brings us into unity and abiding with Him, for at this place of brokenness we realize “without Him we can do nothing.” (John 15:5)  Abiding in Him brings fruitfulness, and much glory for the kingdom.  But oh the pain of it!  It is gut-wrenching work at times, but the fruit from living a life submitted to God in this way is indescribably rich and beautiful.  It is a wondrous thing how God can reveal your heart to you, cleanse you from all sin, and afterwards leave you with the most amazing peace.  It is like a strong summer thunderstorm – fierce and wild, and yet refreshing to the land once it has passed over.  I would rather fall into the hands of my God, than fall into the hands of an angry man.  He is faithful and true, and His judgements are always righteous.  May we never become so stiff-necked we refuse His correction!

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Father, we fight hardest not with the world, but with our very selves.  Teach each of us what it means to “take up our cross” and follow Jesus.  Place in us a hunger to know Your truth in our very hearts, and give us the courage to face whatever we find there.  We trust You because there is no other God besides You.  Who could we possibly run to but the Lover of our souls?  Cover us with Your grace for this season of revelation.  Cleanse us with the blood of Jesus.  Bring us into complete unity with You and the body of Christ.  And may our lives, though severely pruned, bring You the sweetest fruit of all.  We submit wholly to the plans You have for our lives, knowing full well that you are able to keep that which we commit to you.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”  Proverbs 27:6

“The Spirit Whom He has caused to dwell in us yearns over us and He yearns for the Spirit [to be welcome] with a jealous love…” James 4:5 AMP 

I am the lucky mother of a 13 year old son.  I often tell him he is my favorite son, and I can get away with this since he is my “only” son.  My other two children are girls (and they’re also my favorites).  But as any mother of a son will testify, there is a unique bond that only happens with a mother and her son.  (God help the woman that ever breaks his heart!)  It is through this particular child that God gave me a very poignant lesson.

 A couple of days ago we were just hanging around the house together when he plopped down on the couch next to me and put his head on my lap.  This doesn’t happen very often.  From the time he’s been able to walk he has been avoiding affection from me, or anyone else who would attempt to hold him down and embrace him.  He is a boy constantly on the go, and his love language is definately NOT touch!  This child spells love T-I-M-E.  He’ll talk to you forever if he knows he has your undivided attention.  Just don’t try to hug him or kiss him….which drives this mom bonkers most days.  The more he pulls away, the more I want to grab him.  So, the other day he shows me an unusual amount of affection (read: 2 minutes), then he gets up to play on the computer.  I can’t tell you what this did to my heart.  I was so enjoying having him near me, just enjoying his presence.  We weren’t really saying anything to each other, but he was comfortable with me for that brief time.  I felt totally jilted, and in my heart I was saying, “That was NOT ENOUGH TIME!”  I wanted more of him just laying his head on my lap…being still, being content.  Right about that time I felt the Spirit of God nudging me.  I could almost hear Him say, “This is how I feel when you leave My Presence too quickly…it’s not enough time with you and I want more of your time.  I am jealous for you and long for your undivided attention.”  Ouch.

So the next day comes.  Almost the identical situation arises.  He finds me in the living room curled up on the couch and lays down on my lap once more.  But this time he stays…a long time.  I can’t tell you the love that rose up in my heart for this child.  I would have given him the world if he had asked.  And once again, I had a clear picture of the Father’s heart toward us who would just “be still, and know that I am God.”  We are called to stop our work, our striving, our whatever - and just come to Him and be at rest.  I didn’t have a greater love for my son because of anything he did for me.  My heart was filled to overflowing because he sought me out just to be with me.  He didn’t come with an agenda or a laundry list of things he wanted me to buy or do for him…he just came to be with me. 

How much more do you think God wants to bless His children who choose to lay their heads on His divine lap?  He’s all about relationship.  Everything truly worthy flows out of that intimacy with Him.

Blessings,

Emanna

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:27-29