Tied
I had forgotten about this.
Years ago the Lord gave me a picture of my marriage. One end of the boat tied to the dock, and the other end not tied at all, but at the mercy of the wind, waves, and surf. I always believed I was the one who was tied - you know, the one who had a secure hold onto the dock of life. A secure hold onto the Rock who had become my very life.
If I had only asked for clarity, I believe the Lord would have revealed it to me sooner….
No, my sweet man is tied to the dock, trying desperately to stay connected to the only life-line he knows. All the while, I’ve been twisting this way and that, trying to disconnect myself from the dock - trying to disconnect him from what binds his heart. How crazy is this? How can two walk together unless they’re in agreement (Amos 3:3)?
I long for the wide-open sea, the wind in my face…dare I say it…the fierceness of the storm. Because my heart is called to be free. My heart is called to come to the One Who is the definition of beauty and everything good and faithful and true. I am called to walk on the raging storm with Him by my side. It is a passion that is hard to define - this soul reaching out for more, clinging to promises in the past, expecting hope for the future. My brain perspires from the very thought of Christ in ME - the hope of glory.
My sweet man struggles with unbelief. He wants to believe, but is bound by his observations, offensive remarks from various pastors and church elders, his keen sense of right and wrong, and his remarkable mind. He truly believes there is a scientific explanation for just about everything. And yet, he searches. We are all born knowing that “something” is missing. That there really is something much bigger than ourselves…a divine key to unlock the passion of our hearts.
Boats are made to ride the currents. They are meant to provide stable transportation for their passengers. What happens to a boat torn in two? It quickly takes on water and sinks. I cannot go to the places the Lord is calling me without him. The Lord sees us as “one” (Matthew 19:4-6), and even though He has given us different talents and abilities, there are certain things the Lord is calling us as a couple to do for His Kingdom.
This is my divine frustration. Our boat is tied to the dock for now. Jesus visits with me here at the dock, while assuring me there’s more to come. He’s preparing my heart, and growing me in ways I never thought possible. I’m endeavouring to let patience have her perfect work (James 1:4). For when our boat finally launches into waters unknown, there’s no telling where the wind of the Spirit may blow us.
“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:8
