myemanna.org

God-Chaser, Worshiper, Wife and Mother of 3 on the greatest adventure: LIFE…

A Dream in the Night

Filed under: Revelations — emanna at 8:27 pm on Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I had the most amazing dream the other night.  You know the kind…full technicolor with vivid emotion attached.  The kind that follow you around for days, digging into the recesses of your heart like barbs.  Occassionally God will speak to us through our dreams, if we’re open to receive them.  That night I received three.

I’m just going to tell you about one however, as the other two dealt specifically with some personal issues I’m currently dealing with.  This is not the first time I’ve had this experience.  Sometimes I think God uses dreams when He’s having trouble getting through to us by other means.  Daniel had dreams in the night, as other men and women in the Bible did as well.  Even though our bodies rest, our spirits are open to His gentle (and not so gentle) ministrations.

I was walking up a hill to what looked to be a large two-story house that had been turned into some quaint shops inside.  As I approached the house, I had to stop walking to stoop down and tie my shoe.  While I was in this position, I saw a dark man out of the corner of my eye.  He was looking at the purse I had slung on my right shoulder, and I new he had every intention of stealing it from me.  He lunged for me, and I successfully kept him from taking my purse.  He walked away from me a bit, and began to ask me for my purse.  It seemed like he was trying to determine if he could take me again.  I fumbled with my purse as I continued to walk up the hill toward the house with the shops.  In my mind I said, “If I can get inside the building someone will see this creep trying to attack me and stop him.”  I finally did get inside, and hid in a side closet of one of the inner shops.  There were actually slats in the wall, and I could see my pursuer on the other side of the wall, fumbling with something (I couldn’t see what at that time), and visibly struggling with whether he should pursue me inside.  But instead of a dark man I was looking at this pimply faced young teenager.  He eventually gathered his courage and came into the house.  He had an old gun in his hand, and was waving it around at everyone, and stealing everything he could get his hands on.  He herded us all outside to the front of the building.  At this point I became very indignant.  I was sick of his torment.  He’d stolen everything he could, and now he’s trying to torment us further.  In a split second I lunge for the gun and grabbed it by the barrel.  He’s so surprised I was easily able to take it out of his hands.  I began to shoot the gun into the ground.  To everyone’s surprise the gun is completely empty of bullets.  All you could hear was “click-click-click” as the chambers of the gun rotated.

About the time I discovered the gun was empty, an older gentelman came walking down the hill.  He was wearing an old leather hat, and had an old leather bomb jacket on with blue jeans.  He told us that the punk kid was his, and he began to tell me that his son started tormenting people when he was younger with “This.”  Then he pulled a banana out of his inside coat pocket.  He said that was how he began, and to please have mercy on his son.  This infuriated us, and everyone began to tell him how he stole everything from us.  Then the dream ended.

Now hang with me, as this is going to make a lot more sense.

The punk kid was a picture of Satan.  He comes to torment, to “kill, steal, and destroy” (John 10:10).  He’s looking for those “he can devour” (1 Peter 5:8).  He waits for an “opportune moment” (Luke 4:13) if we successfully fight him off the first time to return to see if our defenses are still up against him.  Sometimes we’ll perceive that the attack is stronger than the time before (in my dream the kid came after me a second time with a gun - and that time he wasn’t just after me, but everyone in the building), and often he’ll begin to attack those closest to us.  As we spend time in our prayer closet (the closet I hid in once I reached the building), God will often reveal our enemy for who he truly is, and reveal his strategy.  Our enemy may steal from us, and he may wave a gun in our face, but the gun has “blanks” because Jesus already took away his ammunition!  We have every right to boldly confront him, and call him down when he torments us.  Hallelujah!

I guess you’re wondering about the banana.  I believe the banana is symbolic of those little things the enemy begins to feed us - the seemingly harmless lies he gives us that act like barbs to lead us into greater deception.  The lie may be sweet, look completely harmless, and easy to digest, but it is deadly nonetheless.  If he can convince you to take and eat the “fruit”, what else can he convince you of?  These lies can come in many forms.  Our enemy is intimately acquainted with all our weaknesses.  But fortunately for us, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).  We can walk in His boldness, and His sufficiency.  He gives us exactly what we need for each situation that arises, and He trains our hands for war (Psalm 144:1).  Truly He is an awesome Father…

So, the next time the enemy of your soul comes to torment you, remember he is nothing but a pimply-faced punk kid.  He carries a gun with blanks.  Believe your Father.  Believe His Word and act on His promises.  He is mighty to save us!  Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has already won the battle for us, and we are more than conquerors through Him Who loves us!  (Romans 8:37)

Hallelujah!

Divine Discontent

Filed under: Chasing Him — emanna at 12:05 am on Monday, September 3, 2007

What is this Lord?  Why do I feel this constant gnawing on the inside of me?  I can’t escape it.  I’m not sure I’d want to even if I could.  You consume me.  You have wrecked me with your love.  But I’ve asked you to do it haven’t I?  I keep asking and you keep answering and here I am.  Here I am.

 

Nothing satisfies me like You do.  Nothing touches me as deeply as You do.  I go through my days and if I am not struck by something passionately I wonder where You are.  I wonder if I missed You somehow.  But You’re always with me.  Waiting.  Watching.  Patient.  So patient.

 

I absorb the culture and random happenings swirling around my life like leaves falling from the trees in the autumn.  And I’m constantly looking for signs of You.  I know if I have the eyes to see You are all around me.  “Are You in him?”  “Are You in her?”  “What did she say again?”  “Was that You Lord?”

 

You’re teaching me how to look for You in the inconspicuous places.  In the obscure and out of the way places I am finding You.  In a friend’s smile I see You.  In a small cocoon I see Your glory.  In the voice of a child I hear Your wisdom.

 

How many moments have I missed?  How many gifts have you laid at my door that I just didn’t even recognize?  Too many to number.  And yet You still love me, still leave Your fingerprints all over my life like the crumbs from a child’s favorite fairytale.  “Seek Me and you will find Me,” you say.

 

My eyes are blurry Father.  I am spiritually blind in so many ways…will You heal me?  Can You take the deafness from my ears and the hard places from my heart?  I don’t want to miss a thing.  I want so badly to hear Your voice.  I’m so hungry for Your words – so hungry for Your truth.  My soul cries out to be pierced by You…to feel the way You feel instead of being trapped by my own insecurities.  I long to die to my fears, my failures, my twisted view of things.  I want to see as You see, feel as You feel, walk as You walk, love as You love.  Will You deny me?  You never have before.

 

You look at me with love in Your eyes.  I want to see Your eyes.  I want to touch Your face and feel the realness of Your skin beneath my touch.  You are fully human – yet fully God.  Your glory wrapped in humanity.  Your power engulfed by flesh and bone.  It boggles my mind, and yet I know it is true.  You’ve walked here.  You walk here still.

 

I’ve seen your feet walk on the water.  I’ve seen Your legs – strong, muscular, confident – each step taken with purpose.  You always knew where You were going as You tread the earth under your feet and I wonder…  Just as Abraham was told that every place his foot touched would be his, did those promises echo in Your mind?  As You walked this earth were you claiming territory?  Did the religious community understand just how much authority You walked in while you tread the earth?  No, but the children knew.  And they rejoiced and no one could stop them.  If they had been silenced the rocks would have cried out.

 

Love has legs and feet.  Love walks in authority and brings truth.  Love is not conquered by fear but conquers fear.  Love never fails.  Love never fails.  You never fail.

 

Tread in my life King Jesus.  Break through every barrier that stands in the way of intimacy with You.  Give me Your understanding – no, give me Your love.  Love never fails…give me Your love.  Rend my heart and flood my mind with understanding for I’m most ignorant.  All I know is I love You.  It is a puny thing but it’s all I have to offer.  I am Yours.  Give me the strength to obey You in the big things and the small because You’ve said again and again that if I love You I will obey what You’ve taught me.  I want to obey You.  I want to love You more.  Help me in this.

 

You’ve said I would find You.  I’m seeking You the best way I know how.  Hear this prayer, see my tears, and be with me now.  I am a woman in love…will you not come to me?