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“They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” Revelation 12:11

This weekend at church I was sitting amongst friends and family listening intently to our pastor. He was telling us how he went through a long, dry, spell just a couple of years ago, and how it pushed him to react in some very unchristian ways. No, he didn’t commit adultery or any such nonsense as that, but he did feel hostile towards other people - especially those in the body of Christ. He had been rejected and condemned, and being a preacher brought even more guilt and condemnation during his trial. Fortunately for us, it didn’t scare him to be transparent with his flock. And his testimony of God’s faithfulness during his dry season brought hope and life to us. God brought great good out of that season for him, and we are currently reaping the benefits as a church body in the way that we worship.

I’ve come through a similar season. I’m barely on the other side. I’ve heard of others describe a “dark night of the soul”, but would smile and nod as if I truly knew what that was but really didn’t. It was just the nice thing to do. But I’ve learned so much about myself and about my God through my recent trials, that I’m hoping to share just how faithful He truly is over the next few months.

I’ve been pondering the above scripture lately. The apostle John expresses that we overcome the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. Incredible. The blood of the Lamb I get - but the word of our testimony? It makes perfect sense really. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God (Romans 10:17). He was the Word made flesh who dwelled among us (John 1:14). Because of His sacrifice, now He’s the Word who lives within us (1 John 2:14). As blood bought believers, WE are His living, breathing Word on planet earth. Our words carry the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21), and when we present our testimony to the world we build or diminish the faith in others. In the case of the overcoming Believer, we build faith. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work.

I once heard of a missionary couple who attended a yearly conference. They were excited about seeing their fellow laborers once again. But when they arrived, they realized that it was all a competition to see who had suffered the most that year. They heard stories of extreme sacrifice, hunger, danger, and even death. It floored them. Instead of testifying to the goodness of God in their lives, these precious friends had taken their eyes off the Prize, and had placed them on their Problem. Instead of looking to the Prince of Peace, they were magnifying the power of the enemy. They were tearing down with their testimony, instead of building others up around them. Were the things they experienced of no consequence? Absolutely not. But we are to keep at the forefront of our minds that our story is far from over, and there is great glory on the other side for those who persevere through great trials. Actually, I believe the Word of God says, “Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4-7)

Irregardless of what happens to us, God is still good, and He is still in control. Throughout this season I have walked through I’ve said to myself and others, “I may not see the good in this trial now, but I know I will eventually.” We have to come to a place where it’s okay not to understand what you are going through, but still trust that God has you where He wants you, or is getting you where you need to be!

We all fall down. We all sin. We all fall short of where the Lord would have us to be. But He is faithful, and He is diligent. The world may turn against us, but our God remains. He meets us right where we are, picks us up, dusts us off, and whispers words of love into our ears. He will never leave us or forsake us. He has taken His marriage vows seriously, and absolutely nothing can separate us from His great love.

And that’s a testimony I hope you repeat.

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.” Revelation 2:7

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1

The Lord is an ever-fixed Presence in our lives - like a lighthouse is to a mariner. But just as the captain has to follow the directions of the light to secure safety for his men and his ship, so must I seek out the Lord for safe passageway in this life. As I come willingly and dwell with Him, He provides the shelter I so desperately need. In His Presence I find rest and protection from my deadly enemy, and a reprieve from the storms of life. When I rest in His Presence my strength is renewed, my vision restored, and the atmosphere of Heaven itself fills my lungs. In His Presence is fullness of JOY, and that joy becomes my strength!

As I cross over the threshold of His Presence, He is inexorably drawn to my weakness. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. This boggles my mind, but in my heart I know it is true…I’ve experienced this miracle time and time again. He is not repulsed by my shortcomings, but drawn to them, for He longs to redeem all things. What was once our greatest downfall can be transformed into tried and true character, and our greatest strength. Our foolishness is replaced by His wisdom, our floundering turned to faithfulness. His grace truly is sufficient for our every need. We are only required to approach with a heart of humility and gratitude for His great love.

One of the greatest lies the enemy has at his disposal is the lie that your Father will not listen to you when you call out to Him. That He sees how you’ve blown it, and He’s going to disown you somehow or ignore your pleas for help. That you are not worthy to approach him. And he’s absolutely right. Without the blood of Jesus covering our lives, we don’t have a leg to stand on. Without His sacrifice, we may as well save our breath. But we are not without hope as children of God. We have every right to call upon our Father in our time of need. No human father could be as biased toward his children as our Father God is to us.

It has taken me years to see that when those arrows of doubt, despair and confusion hit me, it is usually to keep me from coming to my Father who has every answer to every problem I’ll ever have. When you allow Him to come to your rescue, and save you from the pit you’ve fallen in for the thousandth time, it creates in you a sense of awareness that #1 - God really is there, #2 - He really does care what happens to me, and #3 - if God is for me, who can be against me?!? You wake up one morning and realize, “Hey! My God truly is FAITHFUL!” And eventually, you’ll have the eyes to see the pit from a distance, and side-step the plans of the enemy. You begin to beat him at his own game, and show others how to defeat him as well. And then he’ll be wishing you hadn’t opened your eyes that morning.

When you find yourself in the midst of the storm you can do three things:

Stop. Look. Listen.

Be still and know He is God. Look at your situation from His perspective. Listen for His voice. He wants to speak to us more than we’re willing to listen.

Father, help my heart to humbly come, cross the threshold of your love, and fall into your arms of grace once more. Thank you for faithfully leading me back to You. May your dwelling place become so familiar to my spirit that I carry the fragrance of heaven wherever I go. Thank you for giving me rest for my troubled spirit. I give you my weakness, my shortcomings and my missteps. Draw near to me. Touch me and heal me. I love resting in the shadow of your Presence, and I choose to be hidden in You. In Jesus precious Name, Amen.

Hot Cross Buns
Hot Cross Buns
One a penny
Two a penny
Hot Cross Buns
If you have no daughters
Give them to your sons
One a penny
Two a penny
Hot Cross Buns 

I am walking with Jesus down a cobblestone walkway.  The shops and houses we pass seem to be from the 1700’s.  We stop at a large, sturdy wooden building.  There is nothing lovely about it, but you knew it had weathered many storms.  It is early morning, and the sky is just beginning to lighten the horizon.  We enter, and inside the building is a solitary man.  There is only one large room, with simple wooden desks in perfectly neat rows.  The man is kneeling at the front, praying and worshiping the King of Heaven.  It occurs to me that we are standing in an old schoolhouse, and the man we’re observing in prayer is the teacher.  As he is praying he becomes aware of small demons on his left against the wall.  He takes decisive action against them, using his gun to blow them to pieces.  They seem almost in a drunken stupor because of his prayers - they were easy targets for him.

Outside the schoolhouse a baker is selling his freshly baked bread.  I can hear his cart rattling along the cobblestone street.  He’s singing out, “Hot cross buns - hot cross buns!  One-a-Penny, Two-a-Penny, hot cross buns!”  The teacher must have purchased some from him, because each of the desks in the room now had a bun on top.  The teacher took his sword and began slicing through each bun.  Some were full of worms.  They looked perfect on the outside, but inside they were full of defiling things.  His discernment brought about the revelation that things were not as they appeared.  He discarded those that were not fit for consumption.  The ones that were good he pinched small pieces off, and placed them on the now empty desks.  Instantly they became whole buns - fit for eating.  He then took what looked to be an ink well out of his pocket - filled with oil instead of ink.  With a paintbrush he “painted” each bun with oil - following the marks of the cross indented in the bread.  Satisfied that his room was now ready for the day ahead, he returned to his desk and waited for his students to arrive.

Moments later the boys burst though the door.  What was once peace and quiet turned into reckless pandemonium.  Boys covered in dirt, in unkempt clothing, hair sticking up in all directions - they were a motley crew of energy and boarish masculinity. 

And then at the back of the classroom the door opened again.

In walked Lydia, the teacher’s daughter.  Perfectly polished she stood in sharp contrast to the rowdy boys who had entered before her.  Her features were most delicate - but not frail.  Carefully she made her way to her father at the front of the class.  She held one smooth, red apple in her hand.  As she reached his desk, her father pulled her onto his lap in an unashamed embrace.  How proud he was of this precious one who held his rapt attention!  The whole room was quiet as they watched the interaction between the father and his daughter.  He whispered things to her that only she could hear.  Their great love was on display for the whole class to see.  The only response the boys could give was awed silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emanna, the teacher made preparations for his students - he loved each one well, and made sure that what he provided for them was wholesome and beneficial.  But did you see them eat?  They did not see the loaves carefully set before them.  They could not see how filthy and unkempt they were, nor how noisy they were being.  Their friends were all the same - they were no different.  It was only in the presence of purity that they finally fell silent.  It was only in the intimate presence of the love the father and daughter had for one another that a holy hush fell upon them.  Only then were their hearts ready to receive what their teacher had prepared for them that day.  Each boy craved the attention and affection of the teacher.  But they were just students - she was his daughter.  In order to enjoy the intimacy and love of relationship on display they would each have to be adopted as sons. 

This is what the bread on each desk represented.  Each loaf represented My sacrifice, My body - given on their behalf.  The oil on each loaf is the presence of My Holy Spirit.  It was painted onto the indentations of the cross because My Spirit was poured out for you as a result of My crucifixion.  The daughter came to her father with a simple gift in hand - a red apple.  It is a gift of love to her father.

“Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.”  Song of Songs 2:5

Daughter, she presents to her father the fruit of intimacy.  She gives back to him the love he has poured into her life.

“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.  I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.  He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.”  Song of Songs 2:3-4

When you come to Me with a heart ready for intimacy, will I not reward you?  My desire is to walk with you each day and partake of the fruits of intimacy.  As you walk with Me and seek Me beyond all others, I will take you personally to the banquet table of My Father.  On His table is the richest of fares, and more besides.  His food is not of this world Beloved, but is given for your edification and spiritual strength.  Revelation is there, as well as wisdom and understanding.  Greater levels of intimacy are prepared and await you.  Authority is there, but you must allow Me to serve this dish to you.  Drink deeply from the cup of My favor.  Savor the fruit of My Spirit.  Partake of the delicacies of promises fulfilled.  These will delight your soul.  It is your Father’s good pleasure to share this meal with you.

“Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with Me.”  Revelation 3:20

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  No one comes to the Father except through Me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I knew very little about hot cross buns until I had this vision.  Check out the cool info I found about them here.  How appropriate that He would show this to me before Easter!

As I was doing a name search on “Lydia” I found that it is a Greek name which means “from Lydia”, or “beauty”.  For some interesting information about the Lydia of the Bible go here.

After writing this post, I am aware that I have not fully explained each element in the vision.  I expect that I’ll have more revelation concerning each aspect in the days ahead, but I give it to you as it was given to me. I’d love to hear your thoughts if the Lord gives you further understanding concerning the above story.

Blessings,

Emanna

“Look at me,” she thought to herself.  “I’m clothed in dirty rags, my face is covered in mud, and my whole body is dusty and dry and caked with dirt.”  With a sigh, and a terrible longing in the pit of her stomach, she looked toward the house - His house.  Feeling worthless and ashamed at her condition, all she could do is stand in the dark alleyway and look through the window at the display of love and comraderie found within.

Suddenly, the door swings open!  There stands the most gregarious man, filling the entire doorway with His massive frame and infectious presence.  He wipes His hands on His apron and looks at the young woman standing in the alley - tattered and torn.  With a delightful twinkle in His eyes He asks, “Daughter, why are you in the street?”  He beckons her to come in.  As she crosses the threshold He sweeps her off her feet in a huge bear hug.  He has her sit down in front of a basin of water, where he begins to wash the dirt away.  He plays “piggies” with her toes as He washes the grime from her feet, laughing as she tries to pull away.  His laugh is so hearty, so contagious, so joyful and rich - so larger than life itself.  He beckons His new-found daughter to join the others at the table - her brothers and sisters seated at a table prepared just for them.  They too look grimey, but their hands and feet have been washed as hers had just moments before.  Bowls of delicious steaming soup sit before each child.  With joy in His eyes, the Father hands her a bowl as well.

As she is eating, she notices that there’s a warm, inviting fire in the hearth where the soup is cooking in a large black cauldron.  He could feed the whole world from that one pot!  Light from the fire dances across the walls of the room.  It was not a fancy home, but it was full of love, full of life - full of the Father’s presence.  Great peace was in this home as well as freedom.  Freedom from every fear, freedom from rejection, freedom from sorrow or pain.  In this house those things fell away as each child entered the joy of the Father.  All needs were met - cleanliness, food, protection, love, and so much more. 

Some of the children would eat their fill and then leave once more.  If they stayed away too long, they often forgot their Father and forgot whose child they were.  But something invariably would draw them back to the simple home on the crowded street where they would glance longingly through the window at the joy inside.  The Father always invited them back home once more, and would remind them of His great love.  Others would stay way past dinner, sit at His feet, and wait for the stories to begin.  Adventures, heartache, victory, and a host of other dramatic elements peppered His unending stories.  He knew all the stories since the beginning of time when the first breath from the first man was ever released, and all the stories that came before.  Heaven itself could not contain the stories found in the Father’s heart!  There was not a tear that was wasted, not a song unnoticed, not a cry unaddressed in the stories He told.

Full of His stories, the children would leave the Father’s side and venture out into the surrounding neighborhoods, bringing more children to the Father’s door.  Some willingly received His embrace, while others would venture in but hide from the Father’s gaze - afraid of who-knows-what, wrapped in fear and doubt and unbelief.  But as they saw the Father’s lavish love toward His children, they too crept closer, hungry for just one glance, one beaming smile from the heart of Love Himself. 

And then there were the others.  They never left their Father’s house.  They ate at His table and were as fat as they could be.  Even in the presence of such great love, they chose to hoard what the Father gave them, they vied for the best positions at the table, and bickered amongst themselves.  The Father encouraged them to go and bring others to His house, and to His table, but they refused to go.  They didn’t want to share His goodness and love with others, but wanted it all for themselves.  Their greed corrupted their hearts.  And yet they remained in the Father’s house because of His great love, never realizing they were in danger of losing their reward.  He’s so patient with them, not wanting any of them to perish.

Sometimes a spirit of repentance would fall upon one of them, and that beloved child would throw himself in a heap at the Father’s feet.  This would greatly anger the others and pour conviction into their hearts.  In their anger and frustration they would begin kicking at the one at the Father’s feet until he was bruised and bleeding.  The Father would hold them back with one arm, while gently picking up and holding His precious child with his other arm - rejoicing over the salvation of His sorrowful child.  He tenderly knit this precious one to His side so health and healing, love, joy, and peace would flow freely into the one so bruised and broken. 

Of course the child could remove himself at any time.  But if he allowed the Father to remove him at the proper time, then he would be strong enough to join the Father in His work, and go out and bring others to the Father’s house.  He would completely identify with the Father and not forget the love poured out for him.  If he remained long enough, his heart would begin to beat in perfect time and rhythm with the Father’s, and his veins flow with the same compassion that flows through His.  And peace, and truth and love will cover his footsteps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One morning when I was sitting before the Lord He began to unfold this story in my heart.  I was a teen once more, peering through the window of my Father’s home at the joy on display.  I was the one in the alley wanting more, but feeling unworthy to partake.  We’ve all had those times in our lives when our failures hang over our heads like the Acme weight perpetually found in the Roadrunner cartoons.  Discouraged and beaten we somehow make it to the door, but are afraid to go in.  “Will He condemn me too?”  “Will He heap more condemnation onto my battered soul?”  Oh Beloved, that is the biggest lie the enemy feeds us, because he knows if we walk through the door of the Father’s house there is abundant provision for every need.  He receives all who come.  Not a one is turned away who humbly comes into His presence. 

The most surprising thing I found about this story was that the Father is so playful!  He was so fun to be around - so joyful and full of life.  He was warm and inviting.  I think we carry this picture of God in our hearts that is unapproachable.  It is an untrue picture.  If you have one of those tucked inside your heart destroy it quickly.  Draw a new picture.  Please believe me when I tell you that He is utterly approachable.  He’s in a good mood, and He loves you!  Heaven could not contain the love He has for you.  Not only is He in a good mood, He also prefers your company.  He lives to provide for His children.  But those who decided to stay even after receiving their needs met received the greatest blessings.  Then they in turn blessed others, and led them back to the Father.  Freely they received His love, and freely they gave it away.

This time I was the girl in the alley desperately wanting more, but at other times I’m the one cowering in the corner, or sitting at His feet, and yes, I’ve even been the one fat and contented but lacking in love and compassion.  So where are you in the story?  Does you heart long to go deeper?  Are you hiding fearfully in the corner of the room?  Are you hungry?  Are you desperate for time at His feet?  Are you busy bringing others to the Father?  Are you struggling with self-righteousness?  He’s aware of it all.  And whatever state we find ourselves in, He is faithful.  And He knows what it will take to get you from the alley to the table where He wishes for you to be.  Oh Beloved, seek His face.  Truly those who seek Him find Him, and often what He reveals turns our world upside-down and challenges every notion we’ve ever had of who He really is.  I want to know Him as I am known.  He is utterly amazing, endearing and delightful!

Sounds like dinner is ready and the stories are about to start…wanna come?!

It is My supply.  Just as a baby receives sustenance in the mother’s womb through the umbilical cord, I also bring forth my grace - my supply - to My children.  The baby in the womb does not have to beg for it, nor does it even think about the supply being given.  For the time the babe is in the womb it is automatic and free-flowing to sustain the life of the growing child.  Her blood mixes with the baby inside and the two are one for the time of gestation.  In the natural the cord can become knotted and the flow of life interrupted.  This can cause death if the issue is not corrected.  It is the baby’s umbilical cord.  In the spiritual there are also times when My grace is hindered from coming to you because of “knots” in your spiritual cord - your vital link to life in Me.  Fear, doubt, unbelief, and a host of other things serve to stop the flow of life coming to you.  I have come to give you LIFE - and life abundant.  I desire for an unhindered flow of life flowing to you, an unbroken fellowship - ongoing, strong and sustaining.  As you cast off those things that would hinder the flow between us you will grow strong in mind, body, and spirit.  And yet, there are some knots that only I can untangle in your life.  You are learning this lesson well, and are learning to trust Me in those things you could not possibly understand except through My beloved Holy Spirit.  He is the Oil that makes the knots easier to unravel.  Yes beloved, My grace is sufficient for you.  My heart is yours, and I will never leave you or forsake you.  I AM loves you Emanna.  I have set My grace upon you beloved Daughter of the King. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

“But he said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.  Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”  2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP

I’m approaching this year with so many unanswered questions.  Of course, no one really knows what this year is going to bring.  We can pretty much guarantee it will have its fair share of ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments.  I feel as if someone has dropped me in a gray zone.  I’ve tried to wrap my hands around the excitement that a new year brings, and all I seem to come up with is a handful of dreams, hopes, and a few tremulous fears.  But my soul has learned a few things from the past year, and above all the voices that would run through my mind, one voice rings out loud and clear over them all:

MY GOD IS FAITHFUL!

So, even though I don’t know what this year will bring, I know the God Who does, and my future is in His capable hands.  Hallelujah!

God has given me another vision.  And like most of the others the meaning of this vision is not entirely clear, but what He has revealed to me so far brings me hope.  I hope it encourages you as well. 

In this particular vision I see a beautiful field that is ready to plant.  There are neat rows of soil as far as the eye can see.  As I am watching there is an acceleration that is happening…full stalks of corn are popping out of the ground as quickly as the seed is sown.  Just as quickly I can see the harvesting machine harvesting the corn.  Sowing was quickly followed by harvesting.  That was the end of the vision.

A scripture immediately came to my mind from Amos 9:13:

“The days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when the reaper will be overtaken by the plowman and the planter by the one treading grapes.  New wine will drip from the mountains and flow from all the hills.”

What a beautiful promise given for the restoration of God’s special people!  Check out the two verses that come before verse 13 (Amos 9:11-12):

“In that day I will restore David’s fallen tent.  I will repair its broken places, restore its ruins, and build it as it used to be, so that they may possess the remnant of Edom and all the nations that bear my name,” declares the LORD, who will do these things.”

Repair…restore…build.  Before God promises that the reaper would be overtaken by the plowman He indicates that HE will restore David’s fallen tent - a symbol of Davidic worship.  To enter into the fullness of all God has for us in 2008, worship has to be the biggest part of our lives.  It is a call to consecration, a call to lay aside all that would hold us down from seeking His face.  A call to accept God’s plan and not necessarily our own.  A call to learn the fear of the Lord - being afraid of walking in disobedience to His loving instruction in any area of our lives.

I don’t know about you, but I have a few things in my life that desperately need God’s touch to repair, restore, and build.  And as we continue to commit ourselves to Him in this New Year He will be faithful to do it.  Let’s not miss out on this amazing season God has planned for His beloved children!

Oh, and Happy New Year!

“Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!”  Matthew 18:7 NKJV

The other day I was having my quiet time with the Lord, and thinking about guarding my heart (Proverbs 4:23), and meditating on Philippians 4:8 which talks about those things we should set our minds on.  I sensed that the Lord wanted to speak to me, but of course I expected Him to speak to me about the things I was meditating on.  Oh how we love to put Him in a box!  Once again, He tore down the flimsy confinements of which I placed Him.  Here is what He shared with me concerning offense, and the antidote - His amazing love.

Emanna, strengthen your heart dear one.  Do not allow the enemy even a foothold in your heart or your mind.  I have given you the ability to discern his schemes beloved, but you must expose him.  He flees from the light of truth, and it is a powerful weapon against him.  Do not be afraid, and do not take up offense beloved.  Treat it as you would a snake in the road and avoid it at all cost.  Many will be defiled by the spirit of offense Emanna.  Do not be bit by the snake of deception.  When offense runs rampant the enemy lies unexposed and great attacks are mounted against My people from seemingly nowhere.  It is a diversion so My people will drop their armor and drop their weapons and turn and tear one another to pieces.  Love covers a multitude of sins.  My people must learn to continually walk in love to the point that it feels like their second skin.  To go without My love would feel as if they are naked and exposed and this is the truth of the matter beloved.  My love protects, shields, and preserves My children.  There is no force that can stand against My love.  When you remove yourself from the confines of Love, you remove yourself from My protection and the enemy has full access to you.  This should never be beloved.  This will not bring my best to you.

Our God is so faithful!  I hope this word was an encouragement to you today.  Don’t play with snakes - choose to walk in Love!  :0)

Blessings,

Emanna

“What are you thankful for today?” 

I’ve heard the question a hundred times this week.  I’ve pushed it to the back of my mind and it has sat there, brewing…waiting it’s turn to come to the forefront of my attentions.  It’s not that I’m ungrateful.  I began counting the things I am thankful for at the beginning of this year - page after page in my journal of God’s faithfulness to me and those around me.

And yet, I’ve pondered the question anyway.

We all have seasons in our lives where we are thankful (and not so thankful) for various things.  Seasons that are raw and biting, seasons that find us gasping for air - and other seasons where we can finally exhale, rest, and find peace.  In the one season we may only be thankful that we are still alive and breathing, in others we’re grateful for His incredible faithfulness.  Each season reveals something different to a child of God, because we know that we are “more than conquerors” in Christ Jesus.  To rise above and conquer is in our spiritual DNA.  We know that “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).”  Often we lose sight of the fact that JOY is coming.  We are encouraged by the Apostle Paul to be content in any and all circumstances.  How do we do this?  How do we remain thankful in good times and especially the bad? 

Through each season, there’s only one thing that remains as a steady beacon in the darkness of night - a victorious banner waving in the breeze of day.  God’s amazing, perfect, and breathtaking love.  It’s so simple, and yet so complex.  The Creator of the universe loves us.  And because He loves us, we can trust Him in every season.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

We’re also told in the bible that God “will keep in perfect peace all who trust in Him, all whose thoughts are fixed on Him (Isaiah 26:3 NLT)”.  With the arrival of Thanksgiving, the holidays are officially upon us, and many of our panic buttons have been pressed.  The stress, anxiety and angst of the season has arrived, and with it the frantic pace that ensures our wishes for the “perfect” Christmas are dashed yet again.  We overextend, overcommit, and overspend.  We lose sight of the love of God and our hearts turn cold.  And before we know it, we’re wishing the holidays away.

Please make a line in the sand now that you will not forsake your First Love this Christmas season.  Continue to daily sit at His feet and allow Him to gently guide you through this holiday season.  Don’t let the enemy steal your peace and your childlike joy of this season of celebration.  Christ has come.  True Love has come.  Focus fully on His face, and thank Him constantly for the many blessings His hands have bestowed upon you.  Are you breathing?  Rejoice!

May His love, joy and peace take your breath away, and His faithfulness utterly confound you in the days ahead.  And come trial or triumph, may you be able to say with thankfulness in your heart through every season:

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever!” 1 Chronicles 16:34

I had forgotten about this.

Years ago the Lord gave me a picture of my marriage.  One end of the boat tied to the dock, and the other end not tied at all, but at the mercy of the wind, waves, and surf.  I always believed I was the one who was tied - you know, the one who had a secure hold onto the dock of life.  A secure hold onto the Rock who had become my very life.

If I had only asked for clarity, I believe the Lord would have revealed it to me sooner….

No, my sweet man is tied to the dock, trying desperately to stay connected to the only life-line he knows.  All the while, I’ve been twisting this way and that, trying to disconnect myself from the dock - trying to disconnect him from what binds his heart.  How crazy is this?  How can two walk together unless they’re in agreement (Amos 3:3)?

I long for the wide-open sea, the wind in my face…dare I say it…the fierceness of the storm.  Because my heart is called to be free.  My heart is called to come to the One Who is the definition of beauty and everything good and faithful and true.  I am called to walk on the raging storm with Him by my side.  It is a passion that is hard to define - this soul reaching out for more, clinging to promises in the past, expecting hope for the future.  My brain perspires from the very thought of Christ in ME - the hope of glory.

My sweet man struggles with unbelief.  He wants to believe, but is bound by his observations, offensive remarks from various pastors and church elders, his keen sense of right and wrong, and his remarkable mind.  He truly believes there is a scientific explanation for just about everything.  And yet, he searches.  We are all born knowing that “something” is missing.  That there really is something much bigger than ourselves…a divine key to unlock the passion of our hearts.

Boats are made to ride the currents.  They are meant to provide stable transportation for their passengers.  What happens to a boat torn in two?  It quickly takes on water and sinks.  I cannot go to the places the Lord is calling me without him.  The Lord sees us as “one” (Matthew 19:4-6), and even though He has given us different talents and abilities, there are certain things the Lord is calling us as a couple to do for His Kingdom.

This is my divine frustration.  Our boat is tied to the dock for now.  Jesus visits with me here at the dock, while assuring me there’s more to come.  He’s preparing my heart, and growing me in ways I never thought possible.  I’m endeavouring to let patience have her perfect work (James 1:4).  For when our boat finally launches into waters unknown, there’s no telling where the wind of the Spirit may blow us.

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3:8

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.  If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all His mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.  If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.”  1 Corinthians 13:1-3  The Message Bible

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(Note: The following may not make any sense at all unless you read the last two posts. E~) 

I cried a pint of tears today.  I really thought this “lesson” was over. 

I think this is why God gives us girlfriends.  The emotion that wells up inside the typical woman would kill most men.  And since I was in a place of despair, I did what any self-respecting woman does:  invite a girlfriend along.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, when it comes to things like this I’ve learned to choose wisely, because I don’t need someone joining me in my despair, but someone to speak the hard things (if necessary), and throw me a rope so I can get out of the pit I’ve stumbled into.  Oh, the value of a godly friend!  Her worth is inestimable.

This particular friend has just recently come on the other side of praying for her husband’s salvation for over 10 years.  He is now saved (a little over a year now), and a very active part of our church body.  She is a safe person to pour my heart out to, and has helped me before to come back to the place where I can love my husband like God is calling me to do.  I believe He gave her to me, just for this season of my life.  And as busy as she is, she always takes the time to minister, to give a greater perspective, to nudge, to pray, to encourage and kick me in the butt when necessary.

So today when I called, and rehashed what was going on, and cried over the lack of spiritual intimacy in my marriage she was right there.  I told her that I knew the things I should be doing - and by the grace of God was doing - but that my heart was breaking over my sweet man.  She encouraged me to “continue to stand strong in faith for him, and kick the enemy in the teeth and pull myself out of my pit and keep going”.  She said, “This is NOT about YOU!”  (I told you she didn’t pull any punches), and encouraged me to acknowledge my pain and forgive him anyway.  I really thought I had, but my emotions were speaking otherwise.

I did explain to her I continued to stand in faith, that this had not rocked me off of that foundation. There was more I had to tell her.

You see, recently the Lord gave me a vision of my family.  In this vision he was already saved, full of the Holy Spirit and confident of what the Lord was calling him to do.  He was saving souls.  It was an amazing vision.  It gave me a taste of what salvation is going to look like for him, and for us as a couple.  There was spiritual intimacy there I could not even allow myself to fathom.  I’ve tasted it.

This is what I was crying over most of all today.  I know God has planned for his salvation since the moment he took his first breath on this planet.  I trust Him completely.  But sometimes a heart has to bleed.  Sometimes tears must be shed.  I’ll give them all to the Lord, Who is well-able to use them for His glory.

Today, I will choose to love.  I will ask God what that may look like in regards to my husband, and lay down my pride, my hurt, my “whatever”.  God has the last say in his story, and in mine.  He has great plans for us!  And if the emotion of it all threatens to drown me again, I’ll place my head in His lap, and give Him my tears for seed - knowing joy is just around the corner.